What To Do When You Feel Like Quitting God

I’ve been a Christian for only nine years, and while many have suffered more than I have, these last few years have seen a protracted series of trials. The last set has been the hardest. I got pregnant in January of 2017 and had to go off my medicine for bipolar, because it could cause birth defects. Throughout the pregnancy, I had mood swings, anger, and depression that left me in misery. After a difficult birth, I went back on my medication, assuming everything would clear up. I was terribly wrong.

The stress of taking care of a newborn coupled with hormone changes and bipolar gave me terrible emotional torment. I stayed with an aunt for most of the first few months of my son’s life and continued to spend time between her home and my own until he was 7 months old. I’ve seen multiple health care professionals for psychiatric medication and to regulate my hormones. I’ve prayed, been prayed for, fasted, gone to prayer meetings, read the Bible, begged God in anguish for healing, and still, though my symptoms are better, I have some terrible times with bipolar.

I have yelled and said vile things to God many times, telling Him that I was done with Him, only to repent on my face later in tears. When I get mad, I remind Him that this trial has been going on for over two years, but He always calms me, gently but firmly drawing me back each time.

If you are a Christian long enough, you will consider leaving God, and many do renounce Him for good. So what do you do when you feel like quitting God? I can only tell you what helps me.

1. Spend time with God, especially when you first get up, or ask Him to wake you in the middle of the night. This is very hard for me to do, as my son bellows from his bed for me to pick him up each morning, and then the race is on. Sometimes I don’t get to spend time with God until he naps, but if I can start the day telling God what I am thankful for or singing praises, it helps. Praise is a weapon. In II Chronicles 20, King Jehoshaphat ordered a choir of men to sing as they went into battle, and God delivered them from their enemies. Praise puts things in perspective, as you remember what God has done for you before and draw strength from what He will still do for you.  It also helps to just listen to God in these times. Let things get quiet, and ask Him to speak to you. He can root out issues deeply buried that are contributing to your problems.
2. Confide in a trusted Christian. You need prayer and support, so find someone that you can be honest with and get them to pray for you. Speak to them regularly. If you can, confide in several friends. It won’t help to just bury your anger. Older people who have been through many trials are especially valuable.
3. Sometimes I just open my Bible and ask God where I should read. I have The Expositor’s Study Bible with notes by Jimmy Swaggert. Yes, I remember his fall from grace, but many of the notes are very good. I have also done the Bible study Breaking Free by Beth Moore, and though I don’t know if she is still as strong as she once was, that Bible study was very good. The Word is your sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17). You need every godly weapon you can muster, and God speaks through His Word.
4. Keep going to church. Get up. Make yourself go. Remember when the stragglers of Israel were attacked by the Amalekites? (Exodus 17:8, Deuteronomy 25: 17-18) The devil picks off the weak and sick first. You need a church body around you.
5. Confess healing and positive verses over yourself. I don’t want to sound fluffy. Remember in the Bible it says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (Proverbs 18:21) What you say matters. The Bible is truth, and confessing Bible verses that apply to your situation strengthens you.There are probably many more things that could be said, but one thing that has worked for me is to think about people I know who have walked away from God. I have felt God ask me if I wanted to be like them or if I wanted my son to be like their children. I see bitterness, dismay, carnality, dismissiveness of God. I have seen once vibrant Christians become deserts. I have heard their children mock God. I don’t know how my son will turn out, but I don’t want to make it easy for him to turn away from God. The world would devour him. And hell is eternal torment.

So keep going. Don’t give up. Don’t let the devil win. Remember what Peter said when Jesus asked the disciples if they wanted to leave. “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,  and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6: 68-69).